Evenifyou'recleverandeducated,youcouldstillbeguiltyofmakingthesepopularbutannoyingspeakingmistakes。即使你很聪明也受过教育,但是你仍然可能会因为犯一些常见但很烦人的口语错误而充满罪恶感。
There'salotyoucanchangeaboutyourpresentationtomakeyourselfseemsmarter(and,hey,ifyouwanttogoforsubstanceoverstyle,plentyofwaystoactuallybesmarter),butfewhaveabiggerimpactthaneliminatingbadspeechhabits。关于演讲,你可以做很多改变来让你自己看起来更聪明(另外,嘿,如果你主张内容重于风格,那么有很多方法可以让你实际上听起来更聪明),但是没有什么能比改掉演讲中的坏习惯更有效果。
You'reaneducatedperson,however,whoknowstostayawayfrom"ain't,"avoidsthevalleygirlstaple"like,"andsteersclearoffillerslike"ummm."DoesthatmeanyourspeechisaspolishedasitcouldbeChancesarethatnomatterhowcleverandcarefulyouare,you'restillmakingatleastafewinadvertenterrorsthatlowerothers'opinionofyourintelligence。你是一个受过教育的人,然而,谁知道要远离"ain't(不是)",避免山里的女娃特爱说的"like",以及绕开使用诸如"ummm(嗯)"之类的填充词呢。那是否意味着你的演讲能和预期一样达到精彩绝伦呢?可能的情况是:无论你多么聪明和细心,你仍然会犯一些会降低你在他人心中的聪明程度的无心的错误。
1."Iknow,right"“我知道,对吧?”
Popularamongeager-to-please20-somethings,thisphrasesoundsinnocuousbutisactuallyprettyawkward."Itasksaquestionthattheotherpersonmaynotknowwhetherornottoanswer.Sinceyou'reaskingthemtoaffirm
somethingtheyjustsaid,usingthiscanmaketheotherpersonintheconversationconfused,anditcanmakeyoulooklikeyoudon'tknowwhattosay,"explainsWinfrey.Optforasimple"Oh,yeah"orjustreceptivesilenceinstead,sheadvises。这句话在急于取悦别人的20多岁的人中很流行,它听起来无伤大雅但是实际上非常尴尬。Winfrey解释说“它附带的问题让其他人不知道回答还是不回答。你让他们确认他们刚刚说的东西,用这句话会让谈话中的其他人感到困惑,而且这也会显得你似乎不知道该说什么。”
2."You'llbefine."“你会没事的”
Maybethepersonyousaythistoreallywillbefine,butchancesareheorshewillthinkyou'reabonehead."Whensomethingbadhappenstosomeonewecareabout,wewanttomakethemfeelbetter.Wewanttomakethesituationbetter,sowetellthem,'You'llbefine.'Unfortunately,thisisdismissive
andsendsaclearmessagethatyouaren'tinterestedinlisteningtothem.Evenifthisisn'tatallwhatyouwanttosay,thisisyourmessagewhenyouusethesewords,"arguesWinfrey.Accordingtoher,sayingnothingisbetterthanusingthisaggravatingphrase。也许听你讲这句话的人确实会没事,但是可能情况是:他或她会觉得你是个傻瓜。Winfrey认为“当有什么不好的事情发生在我们关心的人身上时,我们想让他们感觉好一点。我们想让情况变得好一点,所以我们告诉他们,‘你会没事的’。不幸的是,这句话很冷漠,它清晰的传达出一种信息,你没兴趣听他们诉说。即使这不是你想表达的意思,但是你使用这句话时,你传达出的就是这种意思”。她还表示,不说话也比说这个令人恼怒的话要好。
3."Ithinkyoushould..."“我认为你应该……”
Whatcouldbewrongwithalittlewell-meantadvicePlenty,contends
Winfrey."Ifsomeonecomestoyouandasks,'WhatdoyouthinkIshoulddoaboutthis'it'sfinetogivethemadvice.Otherwise,justdon't.Offeringadvicewhenitwasn'trequestedmakesyousoundpompous,oratleastlikeyouenjoyappearingtobeclever,"shewarns,suggestingguiltypartieslistenharderandaskbetterquestionsinstead。小小的善意的建议能有什么错呢?Winfrey认为大错特错。Winfrey警告说“如果有人问你,‘关于这个你认为我应该做些什么呢?’那么给他们提些建议没有问题。否则,不要提建议。别人没有要求你直接提建议会显得你很自大,或者至少显得你喜欢显摆自己很聪明”,她建议说错话而有罪恶感的人们努力倾听,用问问题来更好的替代。
"Theveryfactthatyouarethinkingintermsofjudgingmeansthatyouaremakingsomesortofjudgmentabouttheminyourownhead.Andthisisn'tgoodforyouorforthem,"writesWinfrey.Ifyou'reguiltyofsayingthisregularly,youmightbeguiltyofbeingalittletoojudgmentalofothers.Trytotamethattendency